Time Stand Still
by Prospero101
Summary: Kira Carsen explores her budding romance with a Jedi Knight in a series of vignettes.
1. Chapter 1

Kira knew that Ghereth hadn't had time for his evening meditation since they'd landed on Alderaan. She could sense that House Organa had good intentions, and she certainly didn't want the Empire's pet House Thul to take the throne. Still, it was starting to feel like Duke Organa expected them to win the whole damn war by themselves. So when they finally found a few moments of peace, Kira quickly figured out where to find him: kneeling in the floor of an unused receiving room in Castle Organa, head bowed.

She stood in the doorway, watching him, paralyzed by anxiety for a few moments. Maybe she'd been misinterpreting the signals. Well, okay, maybe a kiss was a little hard to misinterpret. There was also the occasional flirtatious exchange, and the way he stood up for her to the Jedi Council. Besides, since when did men have a monopoly on romantic gestures? Do'lenn assured her that he'd love it, but she wasn't really - _for crying out loud, Kira, get your head out of your ass and just do it!_

Ghereth suddenly cocked his head to the left, as if hearing something. He pulled down his hood and turned to look at Kira. "Hey, Kira. How are you?"

Oh, hell. You'd never expect a blind guy to see and hear EVERYTHING. Kira took a deep breath and entered the room, doing her best to project a confidence she didn't have. Double-bladed lightsabers and angry Gamorrean gangsters felt less dangerous than this. "Hey...can I ask you something?"

Ghereth smiled at her. "I believe you just did, but you can go again if you want."

His idea of a joke. It was cute, if not exactly funny. Nevertheless, it made her giggle. "I was just thinking...we've been running around so much lately. When was the last time you just laid back and looked at the stars?"

Ghereth stood, then turned to face her and shrugged. "Never? I don't have eyes, remember?"

Kira laughed and gave him a playful shove. As usual, he didn't budge an inch. Damn, he was solid. "Oh, you know what I mean. Seriously, how many times are you going to play that card?"

Ghereth crossed his arms, leaning toward her a little. "Until it stops being funny."

He seemed receptive. Interested, even. Hotdamn, she might actually pull this off. That gave her the kick in the ass she needed to grab his hand. "Come on, I want to show you something."

Silently hoping she wouldn't get them lost in this ridiculous castle, she led him through a few hallways and up a few staircases until they emerged out onto a terrace on the top floor. It had an ostentatious marble railing and a series of wrought-iron tables and chairs, but a simple blanket was spread out over the marble flagstones near the railing.

The terrace offered a startling view of the Alderaan countryside at night. Thick forests of coniferous trees gave way to a rolling green meadow, ringed on all sides by tall-snowcapped mountains.

"Wow," Ghereth said quietly, going over to lean on the railing. "Alderaan truly is beautiful, isn't it?"

Kira nodded. "As warzones go, it's not half bad, huh?" She smiled and settled to a seated position on the blanket. She patted the empty space next to her. "Sit with me?"

Ghereth came over and sat next to her on the blanket. Holy hell, this was actually working. Now she owed Do'lenn twenty credits and - shit, Kira, stay focused!

They sat in peaceful silence for a few minutes before Kira dared to glance over at Ghereth. To her surprise, he wasn't looking up at the night sky. He was looking at her.

Kira quickly smothered a nervous cough with the back of her hand. She leaned back on the blanket and looked quizzically at Ghereth. "So...I've been kind of wondering. If you don't have eyes, how exactly do you see everything? All the ass-kicking you do seems to imply that you can see."

Ghereth chuckled, and mirrored the way she leaned back. Wait. Wasn't that one of the things that Do'lenn said meant he liked her? She couldn't remember. "I was wondering when we'd get to that," Ghereth allowed. "Long story short, Miraluka perceive everything through the Force. We sort of…'see' everything through a combination of sight, sound, emotional impression. Basically it means we put less stock in appearances." Then he coughed, and scratched the back of his neck. "Not that, er, I don't...notice when something is...you know, beautiful, I just…"

Sweet three-toed sloth of ice planet Hoth! He was just as nervous and bumbling as she was! "So, you see just as well as any other species? Just in a different way?" she asked.

"Exactly," Ghereth nodded. "For example, I know exactly what you look like. I know you've got red hair and blue eyes. I noticed when you started using that crystal I gave you. And...I know you've got a little scar right...here." He reached out and gently cradled her cheek with his hand, brushing his thumb over the scar on her face. "What happened, Kira?"

Kira suddenly felt her face get very, very warm in spite of the chilly night air. "Oh, it's...it's nothing. You pick the wrong pocket on Nar Shaddaa, you're lucky if all they do is mark you."

"I see," Ghereth replied quietly. But she couldn't sense judgment in his voice. After all, compared to her, his face was a railroad map. But Kira liked that. It gave him character. It showed how tough he was. As if the confident stride and the rippling muscles didn't do that already - Kira, you're getting distracted again!

Ghereth took his hand away from her face. Maybe Kira was just getting flustered, but she fancied he hesitated before doing it. Kira laid back down on the blanket, and gestured up at the night sky. "So what do you see when you look at the stars, then?"

A smile grew on Ghereth's face as he laid down next to her. "Well, it's...it's beautiful, Kira. I see an endless web of energy and motion. If I concentrate hard enough, I can almost smell ozone on the hyperspace lanes, and hear the endless whispers on the HoloNet."

"Wow…" Kira whispered. She wasn't sure whether her sudden breathlessness was due to his speech or his proximity.

"Yeah…" Ghereth said softly. He settled a little on the blanket, sliding slightly closer to her. "I think I could stare up at it all night."

The moment wasn't going to get any more perfect than this. It was time to take the plunge. "I couldn't," Kira said simply.

Ghereth cocked an eyebrow and looked over at her. "No?"

"Nah. I've got better things to do." With that, she rolled over on top of Ghereth, until they were nose to nose.

The rapidly-dwindling anxiety center of Kira's brain was sure that he would reject her. Mumble something about the Jedi Code and push her away. But he didn't. Instead he returned Kira's embrace, pulling her so tightly against him that it felt like there was nothing between them. His hands slid up her back, fingers threading through her hair. Then their lips met, and sparks exploded behind Kira's eyes.

Alderaan and the war and the Empire and the Republic fell away, leaving the two of them floating alone. For the first time in her life, Kira felt safe and warm. The Emperor and his Children could never get to her, not in Ghereth's arms. They didn't need breathy exultations of love or sonnets shouted from the rooftops. They just needed this one, perfect moment. If only Kira could freeze it just a little bit longer. Make each touch and kiss a little bit stronger.

Then their moment was crushed by the most excruciating series of beeps and whistles that Kira had ever heard.

Kira loved that droid to death, but T7 had the most abysmal sense of timing in the galaxy. The astromech rolled up next to the blanket. "T7 = Sorry to interrupt / General Var Suthra = priority alert for Jedi / T7 = Put him through?"

Ghereth sighed against Kira's lips. "I'll be right in, T7. Warm up the holoprojector?"

T7 burbled his assent, and rolled back toward the stairs.

Ghereth tried to sit up. Kira held tightly to the front of his robes. Desperation choked any remaining confidence from her voice. "Ghereth, please…" She closed her eyes sadly, then relaxed her grip. "Can't we just...stop being Jedi? For just a few minutes?"

"I'm sorry, Kira." Ghereth gently pushed her off of him, then stood. "We can't. You know that."

"Yeah, I know." Kira sat up, hugging her knees close to her chest. Why was it suddenly so cold out here?

Ghereth turned to leave, then stopped. He looked over his shoulder at her, blinded face enigmatic. "Kira, I...I wish it were different."

"No, you don't," Kira huffed. Then she smiled. "Get going, tough guy."

Ghereth nodded, and followed T7 back inside.

"My. Fucking. Hero," muttered Kira bitterly as she watched him leave.


	2. Chapter 2

_Author's Note: The following chapter contains spoilers for Chapter 1 of the Jedi Knight class story of Star Wars: The Old Republic._

Despite the gravity of recent events, Kira had never been happier. She was no longer a Padawan or a Child of the Emperor, and best of all, she now had notes on Ghereth for which Do'lenn had no comparison. She was even flirting effectively. Her confidence was through the roof. Everything was coming up Carsen. But then she thought of Master Orgus and a durasteel fist closed itself around her heart.

Kira could tell that Ghereth was devastated. He was trying his best to be his usually steadfast self in the face of it all, but he was clearly shuddering under the weight. It was as if he couldn't understand that he didn't have to bear it alone anymore.

He functioned well enough on adrenaline. After they escaped Darth Angral's ship, the chemistry between them finally cooked off in the most satisfying way possible. But once things calmed down, he scurried around like a womp rat, avoiding contact with anyone. Now they were bound for Balmorra. Another war.

Kira was almost surprised to find him in his quarters aboard the _Defender._ He was really only there when he did that weird half-meditation thing that Miraluka have to do instead of sleep. He sat on the edge of his bed, head in his hands. He looked small and frail, not at all like the Ghereth she had so recently embraced. His shoulders visibly shuddered, but no sobs escaped his lips. He was still trying to be strong, even when he was alone.

Kira silently crossed the room and sat next to him. She placed a soothing palm on his back. Ghereth jerked, as if he didn't notice her coming. "Kira, I…" he spluttered. He sucked in a sob with a disgusting, yet somehow adorable snort. "I didn't want you to see me like this."

Kira smiled. "Yeah, well, I didn't want you to see me possessed by the Emperor. Call it even, huh?"

"Heh," Ghereth exhaled. He looked up at her for the first time. To her surprise, no tears were streaming down his face. "Another weird thing about having no eyes? No tear ducts, either."

Kira chuckled. She began slowly brushing up and down his back with her hand. "Now you get why I don't just get rid of mine." Her expression sobered, and she inched a little closer. Be careful, Kira. Don't make him push you away. "I know we haven't really had time to talk about...what happened."

Ghereth shook his head. "Master Orgus...he taught me everything I know about being a Jedi." His fingers curled into fists until his knuckles cracked. "He taught me about the Living Force. How to be honest with myself, to turn my emotions toward right action. He taught me that all life is precious, and to find joy in protecting it." He smiled without humor. "If I presume to teach anything, I'm just repeating what Master Orgus taught me."

"Wow," Kira said softly. Then her lips quirked and she glanced sidelong at Ghereth. "Must've been a pretty great Jedi then, huh?"

"Him? Absolutely." Ghereth leaned over and settled his head on her shoulder. Her hero looked so small and weak. "You know, Kira...you've grown into quite the Jedi yourself. Nobody would blame you if you felt like moving on. Finding your own way."

"Well…" mused Kira, pretending to consider the idea while her arm snaked around his waist. "I did consider running off as soon as I got what I wanted," she playfully poked him in the ribs. He laughed a little, which made her smile. "But I figured...why not stick around. At least until I get bored and look for a new boytoy."

Ghereth's smile got a little wider. "I wanted that for a long time, Kira. As if that wasn't obvious. But I didn't... _need_ it until after what happened on Darth Angral's ship."

Kira still winced when she thought of the _Oppressor._ But the spark and warmth of the night after dulled the pain considerably. "Believe me, tough guy...I needed that just as much. If we'd been good little Jedi and kept to ourselves, T7 would still be cleaning up the debris."

Ghereth sat up now, sliding close to her on the edge of the bed. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her against him. He started once again to resemble the stalwart, conquering hero that Kira loved. "I'm glad you didn't think I was taking advantage of you."

Kira rolled her eyes. "The very idea that _you_ would take advantage of _anyone_ is utterly laughable. Look at me. I'm laughing. HA!"

Love. There was no other word for it.


	3. Chapter 3

Kira felt like her muscles were turning to jelly. Sweat dripped down her face, plastering locks of red hair to her forehead. She had to keep going. She couldn't let the exhaustion stop her. Her life depended on it. With a cry of frustration, she threw herself back in, swinging her lightsaber for all it was worth.

She was going to beat Ghereth in training, even if it killed her.

The seeming effortlessness with which Ghereth swept aside her attack only added to her frustration. The fact that he preferred to train shirtless was icing on the distraction cake. He was hardly even breathing hard, for crying out loud. He extinguished his lightsaber and took a step back. "Kira, trying to overpower your opponent's defenses is a recipe for exhaustion. It's like banging your head against a duracrete wall and expecting the wall to cave in first."

 _Yeah, I get it. You're built like a brick shithouse. Congratu-fucking-lations._ Kira took a moment to control her breathing before she turned off her own saber. "Isn't overpowering the enemy what you do all the time?"

Ghereth smiled and shook his head. "Hardly. With my Force Push and Stasis techniques I isolate them. My lightsaber forms strip away their defenses until there's nothing left for me to overpower."

Kira sighed. She really wished he wouldn't be cute when she was trying to be mad at him. "Maybe I'm better off staying in the back of the battle, then."

Ghereth frowned, and crossed his arms over his chest. "I'm not sure I understand. You're a great Jedi, Kira. I've seen only a couple of Jedi who can handle the saberstaff with the ease that you can. You need training like a Selkath needs a tall glass of water. Why is beating me so important to you?"

Kira smiled coyly. "You mean, aside from the chance to see you all sweaty and glistening?"

Ghereth grinned sheepishly and scratched at the back of his neck. "Heh. Well...I'd be lying if I said I didn't...enjoy the effects a long day of training has on the fit of your clothes…" Kira was sure he'd figure out flirting one of these days. One of these days. "But I was actually fishing for the real reason."

Kira's shoulders slumped, and she sighed. He always had to cut to the heart of the matter. She fidgeted with her fingers as she stared at the floor. "Look. It's not that I don't like staying in the back and making sure you don't get us both killed, but...sometimes, I just wanna get stuck in, y'know? Kick some ass!" She smiled a little and looked up at him through her eyelashes. "I just don't want anything to happen. To you. Or me. Or us. So, I figure...if I can work out how to get past you, Mr. Duracrete Wall? The Sith don't stand a chance."

"Sounds like you've got the makings of a Jedi Guardian," Ghereth replied, a note of pride in his voice. He came over to her and set his hands on her shoulders. "Maybe it'll help to think of it this way. Master Orgus always said to me, 'Even on the smoothest ride, there's a squeaky wheel.' Everybody has a weakness, Kira. It's just a matter of finding and exploiting it. That's all combat is, really. Trying to find your enemy's weaknesses while keeping your own obscured." He took a few steps back and activated his saber again. The clear blue shaft shimmered in the fluorescent light of the training room. "Ready?"

Kira activated her double-bladed saber, whirling the blades in anticipation. "Ready!"

"Three. Two. One."

The two met in the middle again, sparks careening in every direction when their blades met. Kira tried a few new angles, coming up from under his guard and sweeping around from a sixty-degree angle. But everything she tried, there he was, endlessly battering away her attacks. The end of her technique took her a step too close, and he shoulder-checked her. She staggered back a few steps, scowling. "Ow! So we're fighting dirty, is that it?"

Ghereth shrugged, giving his lightsaber a little flourish. "I have the advantage of strength and size. Find your own advantages, Kira." With that, he went on the offensive, ramming her guard with hard, fast strikes that sent her backpedaling. She kept backing up until she felt her shoulders touch the durasteel bulkhead.

"Find the weakness, Kira!" Ghereth yelled over the clash of sabers. He refused to relent, continually striking as her guard grew weaker and weaker. "Clear your mind, and think carefully! You can do it!"

Kira took a deep breath, forcing the world to slow down around her. Find the weakness, Kira. Find the weakness. Listen for the squeaky wheel. Find the weakness.

Find the...weakness?

Kira extinguished her lightsaber, and dropped it. Ghereth was briefly stunned by the sudden maneuver, and that gave her an opportunity to step around his guard, pressing her body against his. She cradled his face in her hands and pressed a deep, thorough kiss to his lips.

Ghereth initially froze, but soon melted. He dropped his own saber, turning it off and sending it clattering to the floor. He braced one hand on the wall behind her, and snaked the other around her waist, pulling her tightly against him.

When they finally came up for air, Ghereth's expression was quizzical. "Hang on a minute. Weren't we supposed to be training?"

Kira laughed. She ran her hands down the rippling expanse of his chest. "Well. You said 'find the weakness,' right? So, I got to thinking. What could Mr. Brick Shithouse, Mr. Duracrete Wall's weakness possibly be. How could I get him to stick his neck out?" She smiled at him fondly. "Then I realized. You've stuck your neck out for me a hundred times now. So I figured your weakness is probably me."

Ghereth laughed. The solidity of his form against hers made her feel lightheaded. "I think you've got the right idea. Just...maybe don't try that _particular_ technique on the next Sith we run across."

Kira grinned. "Depends on how cute he is."


	4. Chapter 4

Master Kiwiiks always told her "Be mindful of attachments." She said it over and over again, sometimes seemingly at random. _Be mindful of attachments._ Kira must've heard that phrase a thousand times over the course of her apprenticeship. Perhaps that was why Master Kiwiiks had always felt a little...distant. She was Kira's teacher, full stop. Kira respected her as a Jedi Master, but couldn't say she liked her very much.

Kira was proving to be especially mindful of her attachment to her new Master, though not in a way that Master Kiwiiks might have intended.

She blearily rubbed at her eyes with the heels of her hands. Details on this special permission for "right to attach" were scant, to say the least. Almost as if some overzealous librarian had censored all of it at some point. All these faintly buzzing datapad screens were starting to blend together.

Kira briefly wondered why she was working so hard. What was wrong with what they had? There was definitely something thrilling about going behind the Council's back. Now she regretted even bringing it up.

 _If there was even a chance we could have the same happiness as normal people, don't you want to try?_

Ghereth's response had struck a chord with her in a way she didn't expect. She didn't necessarily relish the idea of being normal. But she watched him sacrifice, always sacrificing, day in and day out. Never a thought given to himself. For crying out loud, even when they made love he always put her first. Maybe he deserved a little normal. Damn the proton torpedoes, she was figuring this out.

"Boo," said a quiet male voice from behind her. Strong hands settled on her shoulders, gently kneading away the stress that had unknowingly collected there.

Kira sighed, closing her eyes and leaning back in her chair. "Doc, I told you that if you tried to touch me again, I'd chop it off."

"Try again," Ghereth said with a chuckle. "What are you doing up so late?"

Kira almost melted in her seat from the magic he was working on her shoulders. For such a strong type, Ghereth could be so curiously gentle. "Just...brushing up on a little boring Jedi lore."

"I don't believe you," Ghereth replied with a smile.

"Hey now," Kira said, cracking her eyes open slightly and smiling back at him. "Alright, alright...I'm trying to look into that attachment permission thing I mentioned. Not a lot to go on."

"We could always just make it up," Ghereth ventured.

Kira shook her head. If anything, this massage was making her more determined than ever. "I don't know about that. I kind of want it to be as... _official_ as it can be. Don't you?"

"Of course." Ghereth bent down to kiss the top of her head. "Do you think we can write our own vows? There are some...things I'd like to say, if I can."

Kira closed her eyes to hide the sudden up-welling of tears. How in space did she get so lucky? "I'm sure we can figure something out." Once she was sure she'd swallowed the emotion, she cracked an eye open again. "You know I have to pay you back for this massage, right?"

Ghereth grinned at that. "Looking forward to it. My back is killing me."

Kira smiled and snaked her hand around the back of his neck. She pulled him gently down and craned her neck to kiss his lips. "Sorry to hear that. But what I have in mind probably won't help much."


	5. Chapter 5

The airlock finally hissed shut on Hoth, and good riddance. Kira hugged herself and shivered, even if the _Defender_ 's controlled atmosphere was perfectly comfortable. "Never thought we'd find a planet that would make me miss Tatooine."

Ghereth, leading the way as always, stopped to smile over his shoulder at her. "I for one prefer the cold over the sand literally everywhere."

"T7 told me he's still got grit in his servomotors," Kira chuckled. She made a point of yawning and stretching, but then she remembered that Ghereth didn't have eyes. Crap.

Then again, judging by the way he turned to face her, maybe he did. "Master Braga is expecting me to call him so we can go over the next phase of the plan...but he doesn't know _when._ "

Kira smiled and sidled up closer to him. "Is that so?"

Ghereth cleared his throat, obviously nervous. How was it possible that one man could kick so much ass and still seem like an anxious little boy scout? "Kira, I've...I've been thinking. Sometimes I wonder if I let my skin get a little too thick, you know? Never give myself time to pause. Let my defenses down for a bit." He took her hands in his and smiled back at her. "To pass an evening with a few drinks and someone special."

Kira's grin turned mischievous as she leaned in closer, until they were all but nose to nose. "Why, Master Jedi...are _you_ coming on to _me_ for once?"

"I promised I'd practice, didn't I?" Ghereth closed the gap, and their lips met. Kira linked her arms around his neck as the world fell away around them.

Since they had no eyes to close, Miraluka didn't sleep. Kira knew that much. She had no real understanding of what Ghereth did instead, but he didn't sleep. So when she awoke from her sex coma some hours later, she was unsurprised to find him still awake, arms around her and gently running his fingers through her hair. She couldn't imagine how that felt; the wonderful warmth and depth of a post-coital nap was one of her favorite things about lovemaking. Well, second favorite.

Third favorite. Fifth?

Kira made a happy little exhalation and slowly ran the palm of her hand over the hard muscles on Ghereth's chest. "Have I mentioned lately how much I love your scars?"

It was true. Scars criss-crossed his face, and still more snaked down his neck and over his chest in all directions. He'd taken a lot of punishment. But he always got back up, always kept on fighting.

Ghereth smiled and brushed a sweaty lock of red hair out of her eyes. "When we first met, I was worried they'd put you off. They're pretty ugly."

Kira laughed, shaking her head. "Are you kidding? Chicks dig scars, tough guy." She bent to press a kiss to one that twisted down from his collarbone to loop around his pectoral muscle. "They give you character. I bet they all have a story to go with them."

Ghereth leaned back against the bulkhead behind the bed. "Well, you're not wrong. That one is a lesson from Master Orgus I won't soon forget."

Kira shifted to kiss a scar that started behind his left ear then snaked downward to just below his collarbone. "And this one?"

Ghereth's expression sobered. She felt his fingers in her hair go still. "You can thank the pirates for most of the other ones."

Kira lifted her head to observe him quizzically. "Remind me. When was the last time we fought pirates?"

Ghereth shook his head. "It was a long time ago. Before I met you. Before I was even a Jedi."

"Whoa…" Kira breathed. Imagining Ghereth as anything other than a Jedi - or imagining a Jedi Order without Ghereth - simply failed to compute. "Do you...want to tell me about it?"

Ghereth smiled weakly, but she could hear the pain in his voice. "Not much to tell. I was sold into slavery when I was very young...a pirate crew that liked to collect slaves and forcibly addict them to stimulants and adrenals that enhanced strength and aggression. They'd use us like rabid akk dogs when they would board ships."

Kira just stared, mouth agape. No wonder he understood her so well…

Ghereth had to pause and take a deep breath before he continued. "But then, the captain decided to board a Republic diplomatic vessel...he thought we'd score a diplomat or a Senator, someone we could ransom back to the Core Worlds for a lot of credits. Instead, we found a Jedi. A Kel-Dor with the most amazing combat skills I've ever seen, to this day."

Kira found herself clinging to Ghereth like a life preserver. "Master Braga?"

Ghereth nodded. "Yes...he cut through the rest of the crew like wet tissue paper, but for some reason, he spared me. He told me he could feel the Force flowing through me in combat. As soon as the adrenals wore off, he took me to Tython for training."

Kira slid her hand over his chest to loop around his neck. She pulled his face tightly to hers. "But...he's never mentioned... _you_ never mentioned…"

Ghereth shrugged one shoulder and pressed his forehead to hers. "It was a long time ago. I was much younger, and not quite so...put together as I am now. I doubt he even remembers me."

Kira smiled again. She felt a single tear roll down her cheek and drip onto his, running over all those scars, all those stories. "Actually...I think I have a pretty good idea why he picked you for this whole 'let's go kidnap the Emperor' thing."

Ghereth chuckled and kissed her. This one was of an altogether different breed than the ones they'd shared earlier in the evening. It had a note of claiming, of affirmation. As they began anew and Ghereth touched her and kissed her in ways that sent sparks exploding behind her eyes, Kira made sure her message was clear. She was here, and his, for as long as he wanted her to be.


End file.
